Not just Advice...

Recently I had a conversation with a friend who is a new mom. I was asking her the typical questions to find out how she and the baby were doing. How was the baby sleeping and eating, was she getting any rest..... and so on. My friend hesitated and told me that she was afraid to admit to me that she actually had been bringing the baby to bed with her for the past several months. She was frustrated and said she knew that she could not do this forever, but it was the only way she or the baby got any sleep at night. Then she immediately asked me if I thought less of her as a parent and mother. She said another mom had suggested that if she told other moms that the baby slept in her bed, they would think less of her as a parent.

I told her honestly that I did not think less of her as a parent and could understand how she got in the habit of bring the baby into her bed, in order to get some sleep. She truly seemed relieved as though she had expected me to lecture her and give her advice on how to get the baby out of her bed. (Not that I don't have a strong point of view about this and maybe some helpful advice if she wanted it). But what she needed was support and encouragement....not judgement.

Being a mom is challenging enough without being judged by other moms. As mothers we want to share our experience and advice in an effort to help other moms and their kids. It is natural to talk with, and reach out to other moms. We need to be connected so we can support and encourage each other. The problem is that too often we are so free with our "advice" that rather than being encouraging or helpful it becomes critical or judgmental. This leaves the mom who is the recipient of such "advice" feeling frustrated and isolated. I am sure that I have been guilty of this before. Now, I really make an effort to guard my tongue, to listen, to ask what I can do and to ask if a mom wants any suggestions, before opening my mouth and telling her all the things that worked for my child or that I have read.

Sharing useful tips with other moms can be very helpful, if we are careful and compassionate about how we do this. As a mother, there are many times that I am unsure of myself or may need advice, but with so many parenting resources advice is not usually hard to find. Understanding, encouragement and support, however, are typically harder to find.

We hope that mominspirations is able to bring you encouragement, support and inspiration - not just advice!! So please let us know if we are doing that and how we can do a better job!

Tuesday Night Recipe

Marinated Pork Tenderloin, Corn, Sweet Potato Fries (serves 2)
Pork tenderloin (approx. 2 lb.) pre-marinated, or you can marinate it yourself in a mixture of 1/2 cup soy sauce and 1/4 cup brown sugar (Serve half tonight, save other half for later)
1 ear of corn per person
3 med. sweet potatoes
Olive Oil
Salt
Pepper
Garlic Powder
Paprika

1) Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Meanwhile, scrub the potatoes and slice in half lengthwise, then slice each half lengthwise into 4 wedges.
2) Place the potato wedges on an ungreased cookie sheet. Drizzle lightly with olive oil and sprinkle with a little (about 3/4 tsp) of each spice. Toss lightly, then place the potatoes skin-side down. Bake for 20-25 minutes, until tender when pierced with a fork.
3) Preheat the grill to medium-high. Grill the tenderloin for a total of 15-20 minutes, turning occasionally, or until internal temperature registers between 155-160 (for medium). Take it off the heat and cover loosely with foil for 5-10 minutes so that the internal temperature can go up a little and the juices can redistribute.
4) Meanwhile, add the corn to the boiling water and boil for about 5 minutes.

Monday Night Meal

Grilled Chicken Breasts, Mashed Potatoes, Steamed Mixed Veggies - serves 3-4



6 Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts (serve 2 breasts, save 4 for later)

3-4 medium potatoes, any kind, scrubbed and cut into chunks

1/4 cup milk

2 Tbls. butter

Sour cream (a few tablespoons)

Chives

1 bag of frozen mixed vegetables (steam-in-bag kind)



1)Put the potatoes in a large pot of water and bring to a boil. Let them boil about 15-20 minutes, until very soft. Drain, return to pot immediately.

2)While potatoes are boiling, preheat the grill to medium-high or preheat a grill-pan/skillet to medium.

3)Cut the chicken breasts across the thickest part to make two thinner cutlet pieces, if preferred (I find that this makes grilling them easier and faster).

3)Grill over medium to medium-high heat for 5-6 minutes each side. (Or do the same in a grill-pan or skillet).

4)While the chicken is cooking, follow the instructions on the vegetable steamer bag (it should take about 5 minutes plus resting time).

5)Meanwhile, mash the potatoes in the pot with a potato masher. Add the milk and butter and mash in well. When serving the potatoes, top with a spoonful of sour cream and sprinkle with chives.

The Best Laid Plans

A friend and I decided to use free air tickets to escape for a few days to her vacation home in Florida. We started off Monday morning with our plans full of "nothing in particular" and spent an enjoyable lunch at Downtown Disney, dessert at Ghirardelli's, a trip to Home Depot and Publix, dinner at the Town Tavern, and wrapped up our evening with a light-hearted movie. We didn't have to listen to anyone complain about the menu, cut anyone else's meat, or buy/parcel out 15 different movie snacks.

On Tuesday morning my friend got a call from her college-aged son letting her know that he had taken her 13 year-old son to the emergency room with a rather serious but non-lethal injury, incurred while he was playing a solo game of "Ninja Warrior" with a brand new kitchen knife and a pizza box. We waited to hear the outcome of the ER visit while riding bicycles around the neighborhood and picking up some overpriced but delicious frozen drinks. During this time my friend asked me if I thought she was a "bad mom" for not wanting to go home. Because she is a very good friend, I replied without hesitation, "Yes", and then went on to say that I was also a "bad mom" because I would have felt the same way had it been my child. We both knew that our little trip was over, since her husband was away on a business trip and her college-aged son also mentioned that he wasn't feeling well and had a 103.7 fever, and we made plans for our return.

Since I had the rest of the week off, I decided to lavish this "found time" on my formerly abandoned children. We made a trip to the beach and on the way my 2 eldest were reading questions out of a book entitled "If". They asked me, "If there was a day you could choose to relive, what day would it be?" When I hesitated they started suggesting some days… "When you first met Daddy?", "When you had your first kiss?", "When you fell in love with that guy before Daddy?", etc. I finally had to answer honestly that I would like to go back to the days when each of them was born.

They pondered this for half a heartbeat and then Joy piped up, "But, weren't those, like, really painful days for you?" I confessed that the same pain-erasing grace that God grants to most women had caused me to (mostly) forget what I endured birthing each of them, but allowed me to remember the awe of viewing something entirely new in His creation. I reminded them that although my life has changed in many ways, I chose to become a mother and accepted the responsibilities which come with that choice, even when it means that it cuts a long-anticipated trip short. We played in the water, collected clam shells, chased seagulls, built a sandcastle, and buried Joy in sand which we sculpted to looked like a mermaid's body. I love how God can redeem even a "bad mom" like me and give me wonderful gifts like this unanticipated day with my children. I am learning (slowly) to walk graciously in His plan for my life and rejoice in the unmaking of my plans.

P.S. My friend's sons are both doing well.
P.P.S. I still want to try the Florida trip again sometime!

This Week's Menu & Shopping List

In the hopes of incorporating more vegetables into my family's diet, I have started buying these great frozen vegetable steamer sacks. They are bags of vegetables you get in the frozen foods aisle, and you pop the whole bag, unopened, right from your freezer to your microwave for about 5 minutes and the vegetables steam inside the bag! So, as you will see below, I have some of these on the shopping list as side dishes for the week. If this is not your thing (you don't like microwaves or frozen food) you can just buy the vegetables fresh and clean and steam/boil them yourself. Also, I have just started to get into homemade pizza - it is so easy to do and so deliciously versatile!! I have include a recipe for carmelized onion and sauteed pepper pizza, but you can really do whatever you want. The dough recipe included makes 3 pizzas, so pick up some of your own toppings and go nuts! (A great pizza dessert idea is to bake the crust by itself until golden brown, then spread Nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread) all over it and sandwich ice cream in-between two slices--this idea is from "RachaelRayMag.com" and I can't wait to try it!). Pizza night is a great opportunity to get the kids in the kitchen too to help pat out the dough and add all of their favorite toppings! And honestly, who won't eat vegetables if they are on a delicious pizza?



MENU

Meal #1 - Grilled chicken breasts, mashed potatoes, steamed mixed veggies
Meal #2 - Marinated pork tenderloin, corn, sweet potato fries
Meal #3 - Simple pasta primavera with grilled chicken
Meal #4 - Pork lo mein with sugar snap peas
Meal #5 - Southwestern chicken wraps and salad
Meal #6 - Pizza night!

SHOPPING LIST

Produce
3-4 medium potatoes, any kind
3 med. sweet potatoes
1 ear of corn per person
9 cloves of garlic
1 med. zucchini
2 Carrots
4 Green (spring) onions
1 avocado
Lime juice (optional)
3 med. sweet onions
2 bell peppers, any color
Bag of pre-washed salad

Meat
6 Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts
Pork tenderloin (approx. 2 lb.) pre-marinated, or you can marinate it yourself in a mixture of 1/2 cup soy sauce and 1/4 cup brown sugar

Pantry
Olive Oil
1 lb. pasta (angel hair preferred, but any kind will do)
3/4 lb. dried lo mein noodles or spaghetti
1 box Southwestern or Spanish flavored rice (ex: Rice-a-Roni)
3 Tbls. Asian sesame oil
3 Tbls. soy sauce
2 Tbls. Oyster sauce
1 Tbls. dry sherry (optional)
3/4 cup chicken broth
Salad dressing of choice
1 15-oz. can diced tomatoes
One 1/4-ounce packet active dry yeast (2 1/4 teaspoons)
1 1/2 teaspoons sugar
4 1/4 cups flour

Spices and Herbs
Salt and Pepper
Garlic powder
Paprika
Chili powder
Ground cumin
Dried thyme
Sesame seeds
Chives

Dairy
1/4 cup milk
2 Tbls. butter
Small tub of sour cream
Parmesan cheese

Frozen Foods
1 bag of frozen mixed vegetables (steam-in-bag kind)
1 bag of frozen broccoli & cauliflower (steam-in-bag kind)
1 bag of frozen sugar snap peas or snowpeas (steam-in-bag kind)

Breads
Whole wheat wraps (1-2 per person)