Parenting Survival Guide- Time Out

For most of us mothers at one point, find the need to address the disciplinary issues with our children. For me personally, it's more like many times a day (increased number of kids = increased number of actions). If we love our kids, we must discipline them out of love and not out of anger (although some situations can be quite tempting). Do you ever feel like you're not executing the disciplinary actions (teaching; not punishment) right?

According to the Parenting Survival Guide written by Dr. Todd Cartmell, one of the parenting tools we can use is called the Time Out. When used correctly, it's an effective discipline tool for children between the ages of two to twelve. Its effectiveness depends on coupling the negative behavior with the immediate removal of all sources of positive reinforcement for a set period of time. Here's how to effectively perform a time out:

1. Start out with a warning: Give only one warning saying " If you do _____ again, you will get a time out." The key is to stick with one warning and not breaking your own promise.

2. Pick a consistent Time Out location that's safe, boring, and easy for you to monitor. This means, their bedroom is a big no no. Administer the Time Out in a calm and matter-of-fact manner and not out of anger.

3. The length of Time Out should be by how old they are: If you have a two year old, then it'll be for two minutes, etc. But for older kids, in case of the inappropriate time out behavior (such as tantrums, arguing, talking back, etc), you may add one minute to the given time out minutes.

4. Do not talk to them during the time out.

5. When the time out is done, you go to them and explain calmly why you have put them in a time out. " I put you in time out because _____."

6. Ask them to apologize to you for the negative behavior.

7. When this is done, you shower them with hug, kiss, and say "I love you".

I was surprised to see how this worked like magic on my almost three year old. It seemed like nothing seemed to get through during her 'terrible two' years, but from the beginning, this Time Out format worked very well. The key is to be consistent with the order. It creates stability for them.

**If you're out and need to administer Time Out but can't find a place, give them a Time Out ticket, and execute it the moment you get home.