The first half of our time was spent at my husband's parents. Relaxing, visiting, seeing a few sites
and getting together with our many friends in the area. Then one night..... SURPRISE!! My husband threw me a surprise birthday party. Many of my friends came and I was thrilled to be so wonderfully surprised, especially since I do NOT normally enjoy being surprised. I like to know what is coming.
We planned to spend the rest of our time at a lovely resort in the Poconos with my parents, brothers, sister-in-law and nieces. We spent the first few days there enjoying the on-site golf, games, carnival, kiddie pools and each other. Then...SURPRISE again!!!
My 14 month old son landed an all expenses paid 4 night, 4 day getaway. The trip also included all meals & drinks, and a personal assistant to attend to any need 24 hrs a day for the duration of the stay. The only hitch in this wonderful package..... the destination was the pediatric unit of the local hospital. This was NOT a good surprise, this was the reason I do not like surprises.Suddenly my world was all about surprise; things happening all of the sudden, complete unpredictability and having no idea what was to come. What was causing my baby's breathing trouble? How long would be be in the hospital? Would they be able to help him? Why wasn't he getting better? Would the new drugs and treatment help? Would my husband and daughter have to go back home, to NY without us? What was I supposed to do to help? Will this be a chronic problem for him?
This uncertainty and worry was overwhelming during my first night in the hospital. Sitting by myself next to my baby's crib, I watched his every breath, listened to each wheeze. In the semi-dark stillness, with monitors beeping and the never ending lull of hospital staff going about their business, I prayed. I prayed that God would heal my little one. I prayed that He would bring wisdom to the doctors, to the nurses and to us. I prayed for protection and peace for my child. I prayed for comfort for myself, my husband and my family.
And then.... SURPRISE yet again. I felt peace wash over me. It was as if I heard God say.... "This is NOT a surprise to me." I was no longer plagued by the unknown. It may have all been uncertain to me at the moment, but I knew it was certain to Him. Trusting in the one who is the most loving Father, the most devoted parent and the most powerful God brought me peace. It allowed me to stay calm, to stay focused, to make good choices and to even enjoy happy moments with my little guy during his long hospital stay.
I will admit that seeing him hooked up to the monitors, the IV and the oxygen often made me remember the terror in his face and his pleading scream in the ER when he was held down so that medical staff could administer the many treatments he needed. Over and over we forcible held him still for IV's, blood draws, breathing treatments, X-rays. I sang quietly to him, held his head and finally he gave in. He stopped fighting, stopped crying and stared up at me pitifully with his big baby blues. His long wet eyelashes blinking slowly....then finally closing.
It broke my heart to see him in pain and know he could not understand that we were doing all this to help him. That we were doing it out of our love for him. It still brings tears to my eyes to remember that. But now they are tears of joy. Joy that he recovered and is home with his family. Joy over the fact that I have been blessed with such a precious child and am now aware of his allergies/asthma and have been given the means necessary to treat it. And remembering how heartbreaking it was to see my baby in pain, even though it was necessary, reminds me that sometimes our heavenly Father needs to give us 'emergency treatment' when we are struggling and we may not like or understand it. But it is because He loves us.
Our vacation was full of surprises. Some good and some bad, but none out of the control or the hands of God. This is a lesson I will take with me as I continue to encounter all the surprises that occur throughout my life.
2 comments:
dear friends, I know I promised shorter summer posts and quick tips for you. but I had so much on my mind and heart that I had to share!!
Wow... what a story Bethany. I'm thankful that your little one is home. Is he doing better now? It is such a blessing for us to know that God is in control of all things and situations. When times like this hit us, the fact that we have God to lean on, and that He knows exactly what He's doing is really comforting.
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