Every so often I find myself re-evaluating the chores system in our home. I grew up with chores, and its one of those things my mom gently reminded me about when my kids were toddlers...and then again as they approached school age. For a good reason. There is no more practical a way to grow normal, helpful, responsible kids than to give them chores! I find though, in spite of how much I have piled on my plate,that it's really hard to dish them out. Weird? I don't know if it comes from laziness--I can get it done faster--or from the need to be liked. I don't know about your child, but mine don't WANT to help sometimes, especially if the newness of the chore has worn off and they just don't FEEL like doing it today. We are also very busy, and between my work schedule, volunteering, their sports & miles of homework, church activities and very late "fun nights"...it can be tough figuring out when to expect them to get them done.
So, it's time again. My system is breaking down. Three kids have moved out now and it's time to re-assign chores. My 9 year old has been emptying the waste baskets since she was 3, maybe I need to update her "main chore" on Saturday morning! I found a website that was all about the assigning and charting of chores...maybe that will help. I'd love input here! Where do you find age appropriate guidelines? I'm usually underestimating what my kids can do. I think I also get too flexible about when things gets done, or I'm not specific enough about when it should be done. Often everything gets left for 3:00 PM on a Saturday. I think that's too late for starting chores, by then I want to start winding down or we want to get out a little bit as a family, but we have to stay around for someone who's still got chores to get done.
So, here I go...
4 comments:
Hey I would love to know what the website was that you found for chores...might be a good resource! I remember a friend's family who had a chore spinner - spin and see what you get for the week. They were also allowed to make deals and trade with siblings.
I've been so frustrated by the lack of support I get at home from my family, especially now that I have a 2 part-time jobs and am more active at church and I still have to make sure everything gets done at home because no one else seems to care if stuff gets done at all! After praying one day I had the idea to put a chart up by the kitchen table. On it was listed a different person each day who would do the dishes in the morning and a different person at night. My husband is included in the chore list! It also list who will clean up the kids' bathroom each night. There is a weekday list and a Saturday list and a Sunday one too (which is only to check the basement to make sure it is cleaned up before the week starts and they forget about it.
It's helped me feel like we are more of a team. It's been working great for the kitchen chores. I am forgetful to remind them to do the other chores but the kitchen is where I needed the most help.
Sue
well, the website was meant to be included...but I ran out of time trying to figure out how to link it. So, here it is. I like the idea of categorizing daily chores and then weekend ones as well.
http://life.familyeducation.com/parenting/jobs-and-chores/45315.html?page=2&detoured=1
well, as you can see, this is one of those copy & paste links, because I still haven't figured out how to do a link the normal way.
Donna, I have not checked out the website you recommended yet, however Tim Smith, the parenting coach who will be coming to Shelter Rock has a website and he talks about teamwork in a family. Check it out - www.parentscoach.org . Once in the site, "click here for practical tips" section and he addresses the chores issue.
The chores keep changing in my home - some weeks one kid does XYZ and other weeks he does ABC, but each week everyone must clean their desks and make sure their room is decent. In addition, before and after dinner, everyone has a role, i.e. drinks, setting the table, clearing it off, loading dishwasher.... The older ones also help with cutting the grass, weeding, and blowing leaves. It is always changing in our home, but yes, I think it is easier for me to do it, but I push myself to encourage them to be apart of our family, giving them the analogy that this vehicle, our family needs all the tires to be fulling functioning in order for us to move forward. God bless.
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