Out of Focus

Yesterday I had one of those days that seemed like a comedy of errors, except that by the end of the day nothing seemed that funny to me and I went to bed feeling like a failure.
The past week or so has been trying. Between the kids' sickness, injury and other stresses I had not had a decent night sleep in a long time. When I woke up that morning I already felt worn down, but I pushed myself to get up. I rushed to get ready, get the kids ready and fed and out the door for a meeting. On the way out the door the baby threw up and my two year old decided to strip in order to facilitate her latest wardrobe change. Rather than be calm and patient I soon found myself barking at her like a drill sergeant...do this, do that, do it now....anything to get out the door.
Needless to say, I did not leave the house in a wonderful mood. But then I missed a perfect opportunity to quiet myself and re-start my day. I was in such a hurry in the morning that I did not pray, did not read the word, did not even take time to ask God to guide my steps. I could have done that during the car ride, but instead my mind was racing.I was so focused on wanting the meeting to go well, be productive and worth people's time that I forgot to focus on God.

After the meeting, which was not a mess but not as productive as I hoped (hard to concentrate with a crying baby) both my kids were tired and hungry - then we got stuck in traffic. There was an accident and we waited and waited until the road was cleared. Another great opportunity for me to shift my focus where it belonged, on God. And to pray for some much needed patience and strength. But instead I worried about the fact that I had left my very sick husband at home to fend for myself and that my kids (who were just getting well) were now missing lunch and would not get the rest they needed, knowing that since they slept a half and hour in the car- they would not nap later.

The rest of the day went from bad to worse, leaving me feeling like a complete failure as all my endeavors in the home and out of the home seemed to go awry. Not until before bed did I realize that my only true failure was my focus on myself. I was running around trying to do everything for everyone...but out of my own strength. It was my failure to start my day focused on God that was my downfall.

Sometimes I say I am too busy to read the word, pray or mediate on scripture......but that is not true. God provides so many opportunities to turn our eyes back to Him. Yesterday I missed them. I am thankful that He is gracious though and has given me this reminder.

Today I started my day by focusing on God, even though it was quick prayer and a couple scriptures, it was the right start. And I plan to start every day, every afternoon and every evening that way!!