Thoughts on Respect

I've been thinking a lot about respect these days. It's that elusive thing that we need, even crave, long to see in our kids, need from our husbands, and the one solid thing that is expected from us toward our husbands. We know that it's a staple of the godly woman's character, but I think that with time and experience,we can get a little blind. I'm starting to wonder if I'm as respectful as I think I am. I mean we get tired - right? And when we're tired we take short cuts in our communication. How do you react respectfully when you find the socks on the floor next to the hamper for the fourth time, in a week? And what's the difference between respecting someone in that instance, and enabling them to be messy people?

I really want to model this for my kids. So much of what they 'take' from these years is what they catch from our example...not, unfortunately, necessarily what we teach them, although that's an important part of their learning as well. Respect doesn't get learned in the Sunday school classroom it's taught in, or at the breakfast table over devotions (for those of you who are this organized! :0) it's understood and learned by example, mostly at home, and then enabled by the Holy Spirit.

Let me push this issue just a little further. In reference to our relating to our husbands, the amplified version of scripture in Ephesians 5:33 says... "Let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him, and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly." I have to say, there are days when I want to say...that's ridiculous! I mean, I don't get treated that way! WHO gets treated that way. This verse is challenging me to re-think respect. The way I talk, encourage, ask questions, give space, give in, but mostly how I address the tough spots, the things I might feel the urge to argue about.

I think the key to handling the ugliness that ties us up daily, lies embedded in another scripture. We are told to "speak the truth in love". And there it is. Often it's not so much what I say, but definitely how I say it. How I handle "pick up the socks" can either come from godliness or from the sinful flesh. If I want my kids to learn it, I have to wear it on everything I do and say--more than not! And this is the fabric from which life at home takes it's shape.

When Every Day is Christmas!

In our home, their is one book that we read many times a day..... the Bible (particularly the Jesus Storybook Bible). My two and a half year old daughter LOVES to read and be read to. She has many books that she gravitates toward, but by her own admission "Cinrelly and Baby Jesus my favorite!' And though days go by when we do not hear the Cinderella story, not one passes that we do not read the story of Baby Jesus.

One day she came into the room with a doll stuffed up her shirt, a baby blanket draped over her head and said, "I need a donkey." She plays the roles of Mary, Baby Jesus, the angels or whatever else she relates to that day!

She is fascinated by the fact that angels came to talk to Mary and seems sympathetic when she retells the story that there was no room anywhere in Bethlehem for Mary and Joseph. "Every woom was full," she says with a sad shake of her head. She is excited that they found a stable to with animals to stay in and claps, singing, "hooray, haleloooya" with the angels who announce the birth of Jesus. She is in awe of the star that shined brighter than the rest, to lead wise men from far away to worship the new baby king. No matter how many times she reads it, it is never common place, it is never boring... it is always amazing to her, full of joy and wonder.

The birth of Jesus, the story of our Savior coming to earth as baby is an awe inspiring tale. But the crucial point of the story is that it is not just a mere story. It is not just a past event in the annals of history. Unfortunately we have tendency to downplay this act of boundless love and forget that the star that shone marks the only true light in our world. Instead we box up this unfathomable event into a pretty little tale, bind it with a colorful ribbon and open it at Christmas time. What a loss!!

I am so thankful that God has used my daughter to remind me to celebrate the gift of Jesus every day. To remember that the story of His birth is really an example of God's unbreaking, unending and sacrificial love for us....makes me read it with tears in my eyes. I look forward to reading my daughter her favorite story and sharing a daily reminder with her of how and why we are able to live in the love, grace, forgiveness and light of God.

So in our home, we retell and act out the story of Jesus' birth. We sing, we laugh, we dance, we get excited!! Don't wait until the Christmas season, the Easter service, or the highs and lows of your life to celebrate the miraculous gift of love, light and life that has been given to us. Start the party today!

Super Mom vs. Me: Confessions of a Guilty Mom

I confess... I am no "super mom" as I secretly wish to be.
I'm now 36 weeks but feel that this baby will arrive any day now. There's been many contractions, including the one that kept me up till 4 in the morning today. I thought today was the day. But both fortunately AND unfortunately, it's not.

You think after having 3 kids, I would be more than ready for this, but I'm not even close. Don't get me wrong. I am very excited to have this child, but I am so scared. I wonder if I could seize each day knowing that I've done my part, and have done it well. Perhaps it's because I had such a hard time when I was home with my first two children. Or, most likely, it could be my fatigue and terrible physical discomfort talking, but I've been feeling quite guilty lately.

I feel guilty....
1. My toddler has been watching way more TV lately due to the uncontrollable nap spasms that's been occuring.

2. That our family meals have been compromised with pizzas and Chinese take outs.

3. My house looks as if we went through a major war and I'm not doing anything about it.

4. The piles of dishes are still piling over and we have to resort to our disposable ones.

5. My older kids want to spend time with me but all I can say is, "I'm sorry, I'm too tired".

6. I bought a sewing machine to save money with the nursery bedding, but ended up buying the bedding set due to my procrastination.

7. My husband needs more attention, but by the time the kids are ready for bed, I've already fallen asleep.

My list can go on and on, but I'll spare you of all the details.
But sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one that feels this way. Am I a good mom? Am I doing well in my God-given calling as a mother?

When thoughts like these hit me from time to time, I am reminded of God's power over my life through Steven Curtis Chapman's song, His Strength Is Perfect.

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
But sometimes I wonder what He can do through me
No great success to show
No glory on my own
Yet in my weakness He is there to let me know

His strength is perfect when our strength is gone
He'll carry us when can't carry on
Raised in His power, the weak become strong
His strength is perfect, His strength is PERFECT.

How true are these words. His strength is perfect when we realize it's all about Him and not about me.

13 Timesaving Tips For Busy Moms

I found this great list of time savers for busy moms. I don't know a mom who is not busy so I thought I would share it. (You can view the original link at parenting/ivillage ).

1. Get Organized. It's amazing how many people spin their wheels each day looking for lost keys, phone numbers, the red shirt or a specific pair of shoes. Spend a weekend getting yourself organized.

2. Find Your Timewasters. Keep track for one week of all the ways you waste time. Do you spend 10 minutes finding your keys? If so, make a key hook by your door, and use it. Do you forget "that one item" when you go to the store? Keep a list on your refrigerator and, each time you empty something, add it to the list.

3. Write Things Down. Always, keep a small notepad on hand. When you think of something you need to do, jot down a reminder. This will save you endless minutes recalling just what you were supposed to do.

4. Get An Engagement Calendar. Get a calendar to write down all your engagements, addresses and phone numbers. By keeping all the information in one place, you won't have to dig for it later.

5. Keep A Notepad By Your Phone. How many times have you written a note on a loose piece of paper, never to see it again? Record those notes on a pad of paper to keep them from walking away.

6. Designate Days. Choose a day or night to do your grocery shopping and errand running each week. Choose a day to clean your home. Stick to your schedule and forget about these responsibilities the rest of the week.

7. Do Things In Bulk. When possible, buy groceries and drugstore items in bulk to save a trip to the store. When you prepare one casserole, make one or two extras and freeze them.

8. Teach Your Child. Teach your child how to prepare a drink mix, do laundry, empty the dishwasher and clean his room. An extra set of hands goes a long way.

9. Finish What Your Start. When you start a project, see it through to the end. Leaving many unfinished projects cause anxiety about finishing each, and soon you'll be spinning your wheels.

10. Maximize Your Trips. On your way to work, are there errands you can run so you don't have to do them at night or on the weekends?

11. Review Your Priorities. While certain joy can be found in relaxing over a television show, don't overload. If you are watching three or four hours of television a day, that is time probably better spent doing something else.

12. Make A File System. Buy a cardboard file box and folders. Make folders for bills, insurance, letters, bank statements and anything else you may need at hand.

13. Have A Reading Pile. Keep everything you want to read, including mail and magazines, by your bed and read 10 minutes a night to unwind.

ABC's of Character- Building: D is for Dependable

Therefore all things whatsoever you would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. -- Matthew 7:12

On a recent business trip, I mentioned that I’d left my college-age daughter by herself at home all week. “Bet you’re wondering what’s going on at your house right now!” my colleagues said sympathetically. When I said that no, actually I wasn’t thinking about that at all, they gave me those pitying smirks usually reserved for the incredibly naïve.

Many parents have given up the battle to raise dependable, trustworthy children. But I believe it’s possible. It starts with understanding their human nature, and your own. Most of us mothers have a definite set of behaviors that we expect from our kids. When they do what they’re supposed to do, we remain Mellow Moms. But when they don’t, we become Meltdown Moms! Our anger and indignation erupt in all kinds of ways. We become manipulators, exploding, threatening and nagging. Over time, our actions give this message: “Behave well, and Mom barely reacts. Behave badly, and Mom displays lots of interesting, dramatic emotions!”

In my case, my tiny tots were rather intrigued by this. For them, disappointing Mom became enticingly like taking a pull on a slot machine. Would they get simmering silence? Full-blown fury? Only one way to find out! The stakes were never that high, though, and my little odds-makers hardly ever got busted. Mom was a patsy, and they knew it.

This changed when I realized that I was basing my whole approach on a faulty premise. My kids weren’t “supposed” to be dependable at all! Romans 3:10 says, “There is no one righteous, not even one. There is no one who understands, no one who seeks God.” Translating this into Mommy Paraphrase, I read: “Little humans don’t come with a built-in autopilot for doing right --nope, not even my adorable sweet-peas! They just don’t get it. Naturally speaking, they’re little self-centered sinners who don’t care one bit about fulfilling God’s expectations for their lives-- so why should they care about mine?”

Why indeed? I realized that I was giving my kids no reasons for most of the things I was telling them to do. No wonder they resisted. The truth was, I myself didn’t know how reasonable or appropriate some of my expectations were. I had to admit that many times I just wanted my own way, for my own convenience. My own self-centered human nature was as much at fault as theirs was!

So I pared down my expectations, and curtailed those edicts that were just plain arbitrary or self-serving. Whenever possible, I gave clear instructions that included logical natural consequences or rewards: “Pick up your puzzle pieces now so they don’t get lost.” “Lay out your school things before bedtime so everything’s ready in the morning.” If my kids balked or questioned, I’d talk with them (not lecture at them) about the reasons behind the rules. And I made sure these reasons were always rooted in their well-being, safety, and happiness… in other words, in love. When they saw this, they started to behave more dependably, because they could see how our family’s routines and standards supported their own best interests.

Yes, they regularly slipped up. But I dealt with their transgressions by talking instead of yelling – admittedly far more boring than a mommy meltdown, but far less distracting from the real issues. Instead of threatening or nagging, I just imposed logical consequences, such as removing privileges (“Your puzzles are going in the closet for a week”) or charging penalties (“I’ll drive to school to bring you the book you forgot at home, but it will cost you a dollar.”)

Now there were no more emotional outbursts when my youngsters did something wrong. Instead, I let my emotions fly when they did something right. Their demonstrations of dependability were rewarded with smiles, kisses, applause, and happy-face stickers on charts.

When they got older, I gave my children more chances to set their own limits and frame their own commitments. As they demonstrated accountability for their actions, I rewarded them with greater freedoms and autonomy, as well as plenty of loving looks, heartfelt hugs and (throughout the teen years) ever-more-meaningful verbal expressions of pride and appreciation. The new message my kids got was this: “Behave dependably, and you’ll win more independence. Behave undependably, and you’ll lose some perks… plus you’ll get to have an insightful – and long – discussion with Mom!”

Kids aren’t naturally dependable. If we want ours to be trustworthy, first we have to teach them that they can trust our actions to stem from pure motives. We must model the truth expressed in Matthew 7:12 above, consistently treating them as we ourselves would want to be treated. We mothers need to be loving, respectful, reasonable, and reliable about the expectations we place on our kids. Within this framework, our children will grow to value our trust, and will be unwilling to breach it. Along the way, they’ll learn vital lessons about keeping commitments -- lessons that will help them become dependable, self-disciplined young adults, resistant to peer pressure, attractive to employers, and influential in society. More important, they will be primed to “seek first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness” (Matthew 6:33).

Let’s keep our walk with God constant, and allow Him to continually transform our human nature, so we can lead our children from a pure heart of love. In doing so, we’ll help our kids become dependable, and by our own example we’ll teach them to seek, and depend on, the God who has shown Himself so trustworthy in our own lives.

Preparing Them For Tomorrow

Things are changing in my family. We recently took our first family vacation without my son who is away at school. My girls are also growing and changing ever so quickly that what used to be the clatter of young children in the back seat is now quiet conversation and laughter coming from the back of the suburban - which by the way is their friendship deepening and is a pleasure to hear. My husband and I are in amazement at how quickly it is all happening. We love this family that God has given us, however are recognizing that life happens in seasons and those seasons must be savored, for if they are wished away or rushed through, will be gone. What we may have remaining will be what ifs of what could have been.
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 11 tells us 'for everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.... He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end.' Do you ever ask yourself why this season of your life is as it is? Do you ever ask God why He gave one of your children a tendency that you do not think you have the capacity to nuture and see grow? Perhaps these time honored words from Eccelesiastes sheds light on the truth - that we can not see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end yet?
Countless books have been written about the strong-willed child. "Bend the will", the experts say, "but don't break it". What did this mean, when at times I just wanted them to get through the day without fighting with each other, obeying their father and I the first time we asked (or even the third), eating their vegetables, and going to bed on time. I wasn't mature or ready to understand "bending the will", but as I grew in parenting, I realized that this nature that God gave them is His gift. We as parents are not in the position to squelch the nature or be critical of the Maker. Rather, we are to treasure it, nurture it, mold it, and direct it toward the fear of the Lord.
I have found that this happens only through constant connection with God ourselves. We are not capable of nor should we attempt to control a child's nature. My teenager loves to remind me that I have a tendency to try to micromanage his life. Well, the truth is that for the last 15 years, I did everything for him, and now as he enters a new chapter of his life, I am to assume my new role as coach and consultant - this is no easy task, but I will work toward this goal. Moms, start this process earlier than I did. Remember that each day is to be a day toward Godly independence. They need Jesus more than they need you. Harsh words? I hope not - they are what everyone one of us needs to hear. Enjoy this moment and the next with your young children, but remember that you should be preparing them for what lies ahead - for the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end rests in His hands, not ours. Amen.

A Little Inspiration

As a stay-at-home mom, I do a lot of cooking, meal planning, and food shopping. A lot of weeks I fall back on familiar recipes, but sometimes I am still stumped for ideas of what to make for dinner! Fortunately, the internet has provided us with an endless supply of inspiration through websites related just to food. You can google a recipe and be taken to any number of websites, all with their own version. Or you can sign up with different food-related sites and get emails sent right to your inbox with meal ideas (and sometimes corresponding coupons). Although you need to be diligent with deleting any messages you're not interested in, I've found that I like getting emails with dinner ideas. The two that I really like are the Betty Crocker "Dinner Made Easy" emails and the Food Network Newsletter. What's nice about the Diner Made Easy recipes is that they usually use short-cuts: jarred sauce instead of fresh, biscuit mix instead of pastry dough, and brownie/cookie mix instead of batter from scratch! (Yes, there are desserts too!) Here is where you can sign up for free:
http://www.bettycrocker.com/newsletters.htm

Food Network has great recipes as well, but sometimes they are more involved (which is not a bad thing). There are a number of newsletters you can choose from, including one with only healthier recipes! You can register for free here:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/newsletter-subscribe-form/package/index.html

Of course, who can forget the plethora of foodies that create blogs and post all of their wonderful recipes and photos of how it is supposed to turn out? (Some even post step-by-step photos while they are cooking -- that is commitment!) I just recently stumbled across this one and found lots of recipes I'd love to try: http://culinaryinfatuation.blogspot.com/ but there are tons more, so check some of them out today and get a little inspired in the kitchen!

Long Nights and Grateful Mornings

Sunday was a long day for me...rather a long night. As moms we all have those nights when our kids are sick, or won't sleep for whatever reason and we end up being awake too. Well this was literally one of the longest nights of my life.

My 11 month old woke up from a late nap. I was glad he had slept and was in such a happy mood. Those antibiotics are finally working, I thought, as it had been almost a week since he started medicine for his ear infections. An hour later I noticed a few red bumps on his face, then when I took his pants off for a diaper change I saw large hives covering his entire bottom half...from his stomach to his toes.

It did not dawn on me that he was allergic to the antibiotic, since he had been on it for so long already. After giving him benedryl, I spent much mental energy frantically trying to recall anything he could have come into contact with during the day, or anything new he ate or drank that he could be reacting too. Stumped, I could not figure out what was going on. (Almost funny how obvious the answer was!) Another half hour passed and the hives that were now covering his entire body had become so big they grew together into large, red, hot swollen patches.

I prayed that his reaction would subside and called the pediatrician. She immediately recognized that it was an allergy to the antibiotic. She instructed me what to watch for, to check for swollen lips, to listen to his breathing, when to give him more doses of benedryl and so on. It was bedtime, but I knew my baby would not be going to bed anytime soon. I prepared myself for a long night. And it was.

I updated my Facebook status to request prayer and was amazed by the number of friends (far and near) who responded to encourage, advise and pray for my us during the night. One friend even called to check in and see what was going on. Realizing how blessed I was with friends made me feel supported as I started what I knew would be a hard night.

Oddly enough, even though he got worse during the night, I stayed calm. Even though it was frightening trying to decide when and if to take him to the ER, as well as mentally and physically exhausting watching over him every moment, making sure I did not miss any danger signs - I knew that he was going to be ok. I never reached a state of panic. I can only account that to God's peace. Everything in my natural instinct and mother's heart, would cause me such anxiety that I would have been imagining the worst. Instead, as I held my child and stroked his head, I felt confident, I felt assured that God was with us.

Though my baby did end up needing some steroids to finally control his allergic reaction, he is fine. He awoke in the morning with a smile. Though obviously tired, red, blotchy and still a bit swollen; he giggled and babbles away as he reached for me. I hugged my boy close. Holding this precious gift in my arms I was thankful that God had given him to me, and had kept him safe.

My exhausting, trying night gave way to a morning of amazing joy and gratefulness.

Prayer for our President

On this day when we celebrate the many leaders our nation has had, the many presidents who have impacted our country....let's not forget to pray for our current president. Regardless of your political views, we can all agree that our nation needs God and our leaders need His guidance.

Be Mine!

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I have to admit that I do not have anything very special planned. My husband and I will take the opportunity to remind each other of our love, to exchange cards, share a quiet dinner at home after the children are in bed and probably eat a few chocolates together.

My kids to too young to exchange valentines or eat candy so I am not caught up with much of the typical business of the day. What is important, and should be every day, is to make sure that the people I love, know they are loved.

I will take time to call, write and e-mail many genuine 'I love yous' to people far away, as well as give out some extra hugs to those who are close by. They don't need my candy or a card to feel my love....not that those aren't appreciated too. Mainly, Valentine's Day has me thinking about love. What is real love? Can we even know it if we do not know it's source - Jesus!

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16

I found this inspiring poem about a Valentine's Day with Jesus - click on the link to view.

Love is patient, it never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
1 Cor 13: 4 -7 Message Bible

Let's remember to show this kind of love to those in our life and to our world!

Love Letters

Few weeks ago at our MOPS meeting, we moms got together to make beautiful journals where we can write love letters to our children. This is something I've been meaning to do, but never got around to it. Before I knew it, 7 years had passed since my first child was born, and I'm glad that MOPS had opened up the opportunity for me.

I think journaling for our children is such a wonderful thing. It's such a special way to keep and remember our precious memories of them. And somewhere along the road, as they are on the journey of finding out who they are, I think it would be very helpful for them. As I discover little but significant things about them, they can discover these tiny treasures as well.

I decided to make a journal for each of my children.




I haven't finished putting the pictures in for the last two, but I've having so much fun putting them together. I could do a little tutorial for the journal, but it's really easy to do this yourself. It's just like scrapbooking. However, if you do request for tutorial, I'd be glad to do it.

Cute Wallpapers

One of my favorite digital scrapbook site is Shabby Princess. But it wasn't until recently I came across her personal blog, where she gives away ultra-cute monthly calendar wallpaper for your computer each month. If you're like me, and spend good amount of time at the computer, her designs will be a definite eye candy for you. This is the feature calendar for this month:

One thing about the calendar though, if you'd like to put your own picture in the frame above, I think you need Photoshop, or other software (there are plenty you can download for free) to personalize. Hope you enjoy!

Seeing the Big Picture

Yesterday my two year old daughter had her 'rest time' in her car seat....and no that does not mean I drove around so she would fall asleep. Let me explain....

When my daughter turned 2 in August she stopped napping. She had already cut out the everyday nap and had been napping every other day for quite a while. I followed all the proper napping advice. I was consistent, looked for cues when she was tired, followed a book/song/relaxing routine each time and kept her in her room for at least an hour an half. Some days she fell asleep...other days she just sang and talked, but stayed in her bed. Well, suddenly it became the normal that no matter how tired she seemed and no matter how long she stayed in her bed she would not nap.

Some of you reading this may say...oh well, so she has outgrown napping, just deal with that. The problem is that as her mother I knew she still needed a nap.....and her complete meltdowns by 5:30 or 6, followed by falling asleep as soon as she hit the pillow at 7 pm, confirmed my mother's intuition. Thus began my campaign to get her to actually fall asleep at nap time. I tried moving nap time much later in the day. We tried sitting with her in her room. We tried telling her fabulous stories about the beautiful princess who became sad because she was so tired and the whole kingdom was sad because she was tired. My husband and I explained over and over that she would be happy and have a fun evening, even stay up later, if she napped.

Nothing worked and 'nap time' was becoming the most stressful time of the day. Until I decided I had to just give up the fight. Why was a struggling so hard to have her nap? Was I so afraid to relinquish control of this? Was it just because I needed that break in the day too? Was it because I hated seeing my little girl exhausted and melting down every evening? Truthfully it was a combination of both things. But I was done trying. Starting the next day we instituted 'rest time' and explained that she needed to rest her body and did not have to fall asleep, but did need to stay in her bed and in her room. We allowed her to get books from her bookshelf and read in her bed or room for a full hour. On a rare occasion when she is very overtired or sick, she will actually fall asleep.

It has brought so much peace to our home and our afternoon to no longer have a nap time battle and has taught me an important lesson. So many times in my life I struggle to force something to happen, and the benefit of accomplishing even something wonderful can be lost in the fight. A light went on, as if God was reminding me that if I just give up control (even of those things I feel are most important) I will have peace. He is in control, no matter how many times I forget and try to put myself in the driver's seat.

So back to the start of my story.... yesterday for some reason my daughter was intent on having her rest time in her car seat. She actually dragged her pillow and blanket from her bed down the stairs, through the kitchen, into the garage and right up to the car door. This is where I found her saying, "I rest in car." I told her in no uncertain terms that she could not rest in the car, but rather than quash her desire completely.... I realized that this did not have to be a struggle unless I made it into one. I carried her, her pillow, her blanket and an extra car seat we have into the living room. "Would you like to sit in this seat and read for rest time, just as something special for today?" She smiled, nodded, climbed in and made herself comfortable.

Rather than worry that perhaps she would always want to rest in her seat or would think she could now have rest time downstairs on a regular basis I just chuckled at her peculiar request and creative way to rest for the day. She did have a cold, so perhaps sitting up all snug in her car seat was the most comfortable way for her to rest. Besides, would it really be so bad if she wanted to sit in her car seat down stairs and read quietly for an hour every day (as that is what she did)? No it wouldn't. Realizing that, though unlikely, if the car seat became her new normal for rest time, I would actually be ok with that - that was a break though for me. I think I might actually be learning the lesson God has been using my kids to teach me over and over. Don't fight over small, inconsequential things and know that He is in control!!

Christ-like Love

I've often heard the comparison made between a mother's love for her child and Christ's love for us. It is all-encompassing, accepting, forgiving, protective, sacrificial, and immovable. Have you ever considered it being the other way around though? Have you ever thought that the love of your child for you was so forgiving and accepting that it moved you to tears? I had an experience this week with my 18-month old daughter that opened my eyes to how deep her love is for me, and I couldn't help but cry.

A few evenings ago, I was late in preparing dinner, it was taking a lot longer than it should, and everything was going wrong. I was in high-stress mode and reaching a heightened level of frustration. As soon as I'm entering the phase of cooking that is really hands on, my daughter abandons the toys she was occupying herself with, and heads over to my legs. She starts to say:
"Up, please."
Me: "I'm sorry, Sweetie, I can't pick you up right now. Mommy needs to finish this cooking."
"Up, please!"
"Honey, I can't pick you up right now. Where is your Elmo book? Can you find the Elmo book?"
(she didn't buy my efforts to distract her.)
"Up, please! Please! Please! Please!"
"Honey, I can't! Mommy needs to finish this."
"Please! Please! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!"
Then, I reacted in the absolutely wrong way. I raised my voice and said, "I can't pick you up right now! I'm sorry, but I need to finish this and then I'll pick you up!"
She was so confused as to why her mommy couldn't make time for her and why saying "please" didn't work and why I was yelling at her that she stood there and started sobbing with her head down. My heart felt as though it had been crushed, and I felt wretched for taking my frustration out on my little baby who didn't do anything wrong.

I find it important to point out here that if a similar situation had occured between two adults: one is asking something of the other, and the other overreacts, misplaces frustration, and displays anger towards the first, the individual would be mad for this unjust reaction, and probably hold some sort of grudge (at least for a short period of time), and possibly respond back with their own anger. However, my little toddler's reaction was just sadness and confusion. I washed my hands, knelt down with her and gave her a big hug. I apologized to her and told her that I was not angry or frustrated with her, that something else was bothering me and that it was very wrong for me to yell at her. She just clung onto me and hugged me so tightly. That was all I needed to know that I'd been forgiven already. It struck me hard that I do not deserve to have a little girl who has so much love for me and such a strong desire for my love back. I am a flawed person and a flawed mother but I still mean the world to her. I couldn't help but then marvel at the unfailing love of God. God's love is unbreakable and never-ending, and He desires so deeply for us to just love Him back. And whenever we turn away from Him and go our own way, He is waiting for us to face Him and reach out to Him again, and He embraces us again with His all-encompassing, accepting, forgiving, protective, sacrificial, and immovable love.

Balancing Act

I love seeing the creativity that pops out of this Blog...great ideas. I find myself longing to be at home more...hint hint!! Be SURE to savor the precious pages of the chapter of life you are in! Regardless of the physical strain and sleep deprivation, the emotional drain of endless need that surrounds you. The place of a mother at home with young children is the stuff that dreams are made of. It's the stuff that college kids come home for. It's the very foundation that grooms healthy adults and that place that looks and feels and smells of home.

I work now, I work about 30 hours a week keeping various accounts in the area. That has it's own set of good and healthy traits as well. It's been a good thing to model work, and love for God (ministry & serving), personal hobbies and interests. My own personal growth as a woman is something I want them to learn and watch. But it has become a fragile and sometimes volatile line to keep. The challenge is to model adulthood for your kids, along side of being that very source of 'home'. Food for thought. Awkward weights to juggle. And women are remarkably good at juggling...what I'm seeking is a rested state of balance.

Dream Nursery

After much contemplation, I have finally decided on theme for the nursery. I've never paid much attention with decorating in the past, but this time around (probably highly influenced by all the craft mommy blogs I've been reading), I just couldn't resist.

There were just too many to choose from and just the crib bedding alone can get quite pricey. So, after doing my research and reading many reviews, I'm going with this:


Thanks to Target and their Design For All selections, Dwell Studio has teamed up with Target and have come up with delicious set, all for the half price :) I'm having a girl, so I was tempted to go with crazy pink-everything, but I thought this neutral palate was refreshing. Let me know what you all think!

Writing a Keepsake

Recently, after making some beautiful journals with scrapbook covers, I was inspired to write letters to my children. I was not sure exactly how to start, and did not even write in the journals at first. I sat at the keyboard and began to type thoughts and phrases about my children. As soon as I began writing it was hard to believe how much I had to say.

I wrote short funny things about what they like, what makes them laugh and what they hated. I wrote touching, beautiful, tearful sentences about the things I love best about them and some of my favorite memories. I told them how special it makes me feel to be their mom. I shared my hopes, dreams and prayers for them. I reminded them that their personalities and talents are a gift from God, to be used for him. I told them I will always try to do what is best for them, and am sorry for the times I have failed, and will fail in the future. I wrote odd things that they say and do, trying to capture just a bit of their unique personalities with my words on the page. Almost as if to freeze this moment in time, to record it, to remember it. I also wrote a letter to my husband....after all, he is my love - first and before my kids.

I have not read the letters to my children or husband yet....but I treasure them already. I know that I will love looking back at these letters and am sure my family will enjoy reading them when they are older. What a wonderful keepsake. There will be many more letters to come in my home.

If you have never written a letter to your children or your spouse - - start now!! You do not need a pretty journal or digital scrapbook. You do not have to be a prolific writer and pen page after page. It can be a short note, a funny story, a prayer, a memory, a list of what happened that day, or a simple "I love you because....."

All you need is a few minutes to make a keepsake you and your child will treasure. So I challenge you all to try it!

the ABC's of Character-Building: C is for Creative

“Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established." - - - Proverbs 16:3

Someone once commented to me, “Isn’t it something that both your children turned out to be such original thinkers!” Without missing a beat, I replied jokingly, “Yes, I brainwashed them to be that way!”

It’s true that, throughout my own children’s growing-up years, I did a lot to purposefully nurture their imaginations. But I can’t take credit for making them creative. In his book, The Grand Weaver, the Christian thinker Ravi Zacharias says: “Human beings are born creators. They fashion their tools, discover new ways of doing things, find shortcuts, and revel in their new inventions. This genius reflects the very character of God.” The truth is, our kids don’t need to learn to be creative. As beings created in the image of their Heavenly Father, they already are! Their earthly fathers and mothers only need to give them little boosts to help them develop their own innate creative spark to its maximum potential.

In the daily routine of mothering, however, we can quench creativity by being so task-oriented that our kids never get a chance to express themselves or try out new ideas. So here are three more C words to guide you as you seek to cultivate your kids’ natural creativity… without sabotaging your own sanity!

1. Charm your kids into a creative mindset. Make making things attractive. Provide materials and environments that encourage construction and invention. Give them access to, not just routine art supplies, but some non-traditional ones as well. My kids still fondly remember the day when I let them loop dozens of rubber bands together so that they could make their stuffed animals go “bungee-jumping” off the upstairs railing!

Charm your kids with musical expression. In our house, we made up our own funny words to children’s songs. We had “dance breaks” when Mom would pound out tunes on the piano and the little ones would dance like pirates, or Indians, or fairies. (Well actually, only my little girl consented to be a fairy. That was a bit too much for her big brother!)

Charm your kids with literature. Don’t stop reading to them once they learn to read for themselves. At that point, they’re more ready than ever to settle down after dinner and listen to you speak aloud the delightful escapades of Junie B. Jones or the daring adventures of the Hobbit. As they each stare off into their own dreamscape and picture the events coming to life, you share together the enjoyment and inspiration of a good story.

For countless other age-appropriate pursuits that will fire up your kids’ appetite for creativity, I recommend a wonderful book named the The Mother’s Almanac, by Marguerite Kelly.

2. Challenge your children’s imagination. Find ways to inject out-of-the-box thinking into everyday routines. Dinner conversations don’t have to be dull if parents pose fun questions that invite free-wheeling answers, such as “What if dogs could fly?” “How could you have a campfire underwater?” or “In our family, who behaves the most like a basketball?” From there, it’s just a short leap to more organized creative games, such as:

*“What Would You Rather?”-- In this game, Person #1 states two options -- for example, “What would you rather do: ride in a submarine, or ride in a hot air balloon?” Person #2 chooses one answer, then explains why he or she made that choice, as everyone else listens appreciatively (and non-critically). I know this doesn’t sound especially appealing on paper… but once you try it, you’re hooked. Here’s a bonus: all ages can play. (Sneaky Mom alert: this is also a great undercover way to get ideas for future birthday presents or family outings!)

*“Draw A Picture Of…” -- My college-aged daughter and I still play this game when we’re waiting in restaurants. We take turns giving each other outlandish drawing assignments, such as “Draw an elephant mailing a letter.” Just one warning, though: your laughter might get you kicked out of high-class establishments!

Make up your own ways to launch ideas, then let your children do the embellishing while you enjoy their spontaneity. Just remember this cardinal rule: no mocking. Underscore the need for families to balance freedom of expression with respect for each others’ feelings. Which brings us to my last C word…

3. Channel your children’s creativity for good. In the very first chapters of Genesis, the story of Cain murdering Abel shows us what happens when, as individuals, we let our own ideas become disconnected from God’s ideals. The tower of Babel and the Golden Calf are other Bible examples of mankind’s Godlike creativity taking a devilish turn.

Our hope lies the Bible verse quoted above. When we commit our works to the Lord, and allow Him to rule in our hearts and minds, He promises to guide our inborn creativity to its fullest potential, and its most fulfilling expression. God programmed us to create within a context of love for others, and service to Him. That’s why the safety of a loving family is the very best proving ground for budding creativity.

Let’s help our little “born creators” understand that when we use ideas to hurt or demean others, the spark flickers out of the creative process. But when we choose to let God’s principles frame our creative endeavors, all of life becomes a canvas of joy. And that’s the kind of life we want for each of our children!