I've been thinking a lot about respect these days. It's that elusive thing that we need, even crave, long to see in our kids, need from our husbands, and the one solid thing that is expected from us toward our husbands. We know that it's a staple of the godly woman's character, but I think that with time and experience,we can get a little blind. I'm starting to wonder if I'm as respectful as I think I am. I mean we get tired - right? And when we're tired we take short cuts in our communication. How do you react respectfully when you find the socks on the floor next to the hamper for the fourth time, in a week? And what's the difference between respecting someone in that instance, and enabling them to be messy people?I really want to model this for my kids. So much of what they 'take' from these years is what they catch from our example...not, unfortunately, necessarily what we teach them, although that's an important part of their learning as well. Respect doesn't get learned in the Sunday school classroom it's taught in, or at the breakfast table over devotions (for those of you who are this organized! :0) it's understood and learned by example, mostly at home, and then enabled by the Holy Spirit.
Let me push this issue just a little further. In reference to our relating to our husbands, the amplified version of scripture in Ephesians 5:33 says... "Let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him, and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly." I have to say, there are days when I want to say...that's ridiculous! I mean, I don't get treated that way! WHO gets treated that way. This verse is challenging me to re-think respect. The way I talk, encourage, ask questions, give space, give in, but mostly how I address the tough spots, the things I might feel the urge to argue about.
I think the key to handling the ugliness that ties us up daily, lies embedded in another scripture. We are told to "speak the truth in love". And there it is. Often it's not so much what I say, but definitely how I say it. How I handle "pick up the socks" can either come from godliness or from the sinful flesh. If I want my kids to learn it, I have to wear it on everything I do and say--more than not! And this is the fabric from which life at home takes it's shape.
2 comments:
Wow - seems like you were writing this for me. I have felt that I fail many times to give my husband the respect I should....especially when the kids are crying and we are all tired. thanks for letting me know I am not alone and challenging me to model true respect for my kids.
It does seem so impossible at times to BE respectful when, yes, the socks are on the floor. AGAIN. But that IS part of our calling. My sharp tongue and harsh tone really hamper me in this area. But what comes out of the mouth comes from the heart, so I know this is a SERIOUS area to open up to God's work in me. Thanks for this REAL consideration - and for sharing it with us.
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