Seeing the Big Picture

Yesterday my two year old daughter had her 'rest time' in her car seat....and no that does not mean I drove around so she would fall asleep. Let me explain....

When my daughter turned 2 in August she stopped napping. She had already cut out the everyday nap and had been napping every other day for quite a while. I followed all the proper napping advice. I was consistent, looked for cues when she was tired, followed a book/song/relaxing routine each time and kept her in her room for at least an hour an half. Some days she fell asleep...other days she just sang and talked, but stayed in her bed. Well, suddenly it became the normal that no matter how tired she seemed and no matter how long she stayed in her bed she would not nap.

Some of you reading this may say...oh well, so she has outgrown napping, just deal with that. The problem is that as her mother I knew she still needed a nap.....and her complete meltdowns by 5:30 or 6, followed by falling asleep as soon as she hit the pillow at 7 pm, confirmed my mother's intuition. Thus began my campaign to get her to actually fall asleep at nap time. I tried moving nap time much later in the day. We tried sitting with her in her room. We tried telling her fabulous stories about the beautiful princess who became sad because she was so tired and the whole kingdom was sad because she was tired. My husband and I explained over and over that she would be happy and have a fun evening, even stay up later, if she napped.

Nothing worked and 'nap time' was becoming the most stressful time of the day. Until I decided I had to just give up the fight. Why was a struggling so hard to have her nap? Was I so afraid to relinquish control of this? Was it just because I needed that break in the day too? Was it because I hated seeing my little girl exhausted and melting down every evening? Truthfully it was a combination of both things. But I was done trying. Starting the next day we instituted 'rest time' and explained that she needed to rest her body and did not have to fall asleep, but did need to stay in her bed and in her room. We allowed her to get books from her bookshelf and read in her bed or room for a full hour. On a rare occasion when she is very overtired or sick, she will actually fall asleep.

It has brought so much peace to our home and our afternoon to no longer have a nap time battle and has taught me an important lesson. So many times in my life I struggle to force something to happen, and the benefit of accomplishing even something wonderful can be lost in the fight. A light went on, as if God was reminding me that if I just give up control (even of those things I feel are most important) I will have peace. He is in control, no matter how many times I forget and try to put myself in the driver's seat.

So back to the start of my story.... yesterday for some reason my daughter was intent on having her rest time in her car seat. She actually dragged her pillow and blanket from her bed down the stairs, through the kitchen, into the garage and right up to the car door. This is where I found her saying, "I rest in car." I told her in no uncertain terms that she could not rest in the car, but rather than quash her desire completely.... I realized that this did not have to be a struggle unless I made it into one. I carried her, her pillow, her blanket and an extra car seat we have into the living room. "Would you like to sit in this seat and read for rest time, just as something special for today?" She smiled, nodded, climbed in and made herself comfortable.

Rather than worry that perhaps she would always want to rest in her seat or would think she could now have rest time downstairs on a regular basis I just chuckled at her peculiar request and creative way to rest for the day. She did have a cold, so perhaps sitting up all snug in her car seat was the most comfortable way for her to rest. Besides, would it really be so bad if she wanted to sit in her car seat down stairs and read quietly for an hour every day (as that is what she did)? No it wouldn't. Realizing that, though unlikely, if the car seat became her new normal for rest time, I would actually be ok with that - that was a break though for me. I think I might actually be learning the lesson God has been using my kids to teach me over and over. Don't fight over small, inconsequential things and know that He is in control!!