...sleep in my bed...still use a pacifier when they are 3
...watch TV all day
...fall asleep to the TV
...eat candy/cookies/fast food
...leave the house in mismatched clothing or looking dishevelled
...be allowed to stay up as late as they want
...be out of control in public
...demand toys/food in the store and get it
You get the idea. They were all things that made me cringe when I saw, or heard about, other kids doing them. Though most of these things really had more impact on my perceived image of being a perfect mom....than a lasting impact on the life and character of the child.
After becoming a parent I realized that many of my preconceived ideas about what my kids will do, and what I will do, get thrown out the window. I have learned that teaching my kids to be healthy and safe, helping them learn and develop godly character and enjoying fun times with them now is much more important than sticking to a list of 'DO' and 'DO NOT.'
Don't get me wrong, I do not have a laid back approach to parenting. Those who know me can attest to the fact that I love schedules, order, control and a clean playroom. I am a perfectionist at heart.... or at least I try to be. But I now know that no one is, or can be, perfect. No one that is, except for THE ONE. The one who showed us His perfect love....Jesus Christ. And since God has entrusted my children to me, the least that I can do is trust Him that in my weakness He will be strong. Only in realizing my imperfection can I get to the place where I am relying completely on Him.
I am not a perfect mom, and I know it. Why then do I sometimes review the mental list in my head, checking off things to see how well I am doing?
*My kids don't eat exclusively organic food, but they eat very healthy food without added sugar. They don't eat cookies, candy or fast food (except for an occasion pizza or sub ordered out)--- no junk food, check!!
*My kids only watch one short DVD or video a day (except when we are sick)--- Don't watch too much TV, check!
*My kids sleep fall asleep by themselves in their own beds every night----Good sleep habits, check!!
Perhaps focusing on these minor things, makes me feel like I have the majors covered also. Does anyone else do that?
Recently I have begun allowing my 2 1/2 year old daughter to lay on our bed and watch a DVD during her rest time. It is the only way she will actually fall asleep when she really needs a nap. Some days she really needs to sleep and when she doesn't she melts down. After a few days like that she has a tendency to get sick. So I have allowed her to fall asleep watching a show on our bed. It is not every day and rest time will be phased out soon. She still sleeps in her own bed at night. I am not training her to need the TV to sleep. It won't have a lasting negative impact on her. Then why am I so hesitant to let her continue this method of napping, even though it provides much needed sleep for her.
The only reason is because it is not something that a perfect mom would do. I guess it is a good thing that I am not a perfect mom then. Good thing I am an imperfect mom who does her best, but in her weakness relies on God for His perfection.
2 comments:
Sounds to me like you are doing everything beautifully. My kids ate cookies, watched too much PBS at times, drank fruit juice and sometimes even took their naps in the car while going from errand to errand. That's not what they remember - they remember how you loved them, made them to feel safe, and guided them toward Jesus. Press on - napping on your bed gives them good memories. My 9 year old still loves to play with her dolls on my bed, read on my bed, and hang out on it when the rest of the house is chaotic. XXOO
Thanks for your encouragement Carolina! I think I used those 3 examples in my blog because they are areas where I actually feel like I do a good job :) Notice I did not mention that I tend to react to quickly and too harshly when my kids misbehave, that I sometimes forget to brush their teeth or that I miss so many opportunities to teach them God's love. we all have our faults, and I am thankful we have a gracious God. I will pressing on to make them feel safe, loved and as you said "guide them toward Jesus."
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