Desperate Times call for Desperate Measures

I had it, I was fed up, beyond frustrated and way past losing my cool. That is when I did it, made a snap decision that I was afraid I would regret later. I said something, that I am sure the experts would frown upon. But there it was...it came out of my mouth and there was no going back now. "You want to be a baby?" I said to my whining 2 year old, "Ok then, starting now.... you are a baby. That is how mommy will treat you - no big girl anything!"

Rewind 30 minutes, SCENE:
Two year old dumping her snack and drink on the floor, followed by giddy laughter and a bubbly exclamation, "Ha ha, I baby. I make mess!" Mom, looking less than amused and wondering what happened to her mini neat freak, hands the offending toddler a wipe and says in a firm, but even-toned voice, "I am happy that you are a big girl and get to eat snacks, but food is for eating, we DO NOT throw it on the floor. Clean it up now."

Rewind 20 minutes, SCENE:
Same child runs into the room holding a soggy, torn page from a book. Smile on her face she says, "I rip it, eat it....yuck. I baby!" Mom, trying not to overreact and wondering what happened to her avid reader who had been turning pages carefully since she could sit up, says in an even firmer and slightly agitated voice, "You MAY NOT rip your books or I will have to take them away. Books are for reading and you know that." Then taking the book, she directs child to time out.

Rewind 5 minutes, SCENE:

Mom and two year old are playing, when child suddenly gets up and runs off to her playroom. A few minutes later mom follows and finds her obviously soiled and wet!! "I poo in pants," her previously well potty trained child says and then continues with no remorse, "I baby, need bath now, yeah!" Mom has lost her cool, firm, parent voice now, as well as any patience that she was saving up. Sounding like a 2 year old herself she says in a very loud and very angry tone (just short of screaming), "NO! You use the POTTY you DO NOT go in your pants! Yuck! Get into the bathroom NOW. GO!"

Now this may sound harsh, but as this was her 5th 'accident' in just as many days (following a couple months without accident)....I now realized that these were no accidents and that my amazing, beautiful, smart toddler was purposely wetting and soiling herself. Why?? Fuming in silence as I stripped her and gave her a bath, I wondered why she was suddenly deciding to act like a baby. Her baby brother was born almost 10 months ago and she has been wonderful...until the past couple weeks. If anything she has gotten more attention lately as he needs less attention. We tried ignoring and down playing her unacceptable 'baby behavior' while singing praises for her 'big girl' behavior. we tried special rewards and special time doing 'big girl' things when she behaved. When that did not work we tried disciplining her for such behavior bad negative reinforcement (removing a privilege). Nothing worked not even my heartfelt talk about how much we loved to hug and cuddle her no matter how big she was and were so happy that she could read, color, sing...etc with us.

I was pulled away from my thoughts by a cute little voice saying...yes, those words I had come to dread, "Ha Ha..I baby, eat shapoooo." Sure enough she was sucking on the shampoo bottle. That brings us back to the beginning of our story. I told her that from now on she was a baby.

I dried her off, put a diaper on her and got her dressed. Ignoring her request for a specific shirt I said, "Mommy chooses clothes for babies." When she reached for a book to read I said. "Oh no, babies can't have those books, they will rip them," and quickly took all her books off her bookshelf and stashed them out of reach. I carried her downstairs and set her in the pack-n-play while I made lunch. After a few minutes she asked to get out and I said, "Hi pretty baby, what are you saying....mommy can't understand what babies say, but I love you!"

When I took her out of the pack-n-play she ran to get her treasured cinderella doll, and her own cinderella crown and shoes to wear. I quickly took them away and said, "Oh these are not safe for babies, you could get hurt!" Handing her a rattle I sat her in the booster seat at the table and strapped her in. She looked shocked and I could tell the novelty of being a baby was quickly fading. Grandma called and after I talked to her, my big 'baby' wanted to talk too. I said, "What are you saying baby? are you trying to talk on the phone. So silly, babies can't talk on the phone!"

As we started our lunch I said to her baby brother, "I miss talking to my big girl, reading with her, coloring with her and dressing up with her. But I do love my babies!" I fed her a spoon of pureed green beans and rice cereal. "Yum, babies love this," I said. She swallowed it slowly...watching as her brother gobbled his, panted for more and happing banged his hands on his highchair tray. After feeding her a few more spoonfuls I started eating my own lunch. A cream cheese and jam sandwhich, raisins and some goldfish...all my daughters favorites. That did it!!!

"I big girl, not baby," she said "I no wear dipee, I go on potty. I eat samich." Apparently she had enough of being treated like a baby, especially since it was not as fun as she thought it would be.
She got down from her seat, went into the potty, took care of business on her own. Then came out, asked for underwear and a big girl lunch. "Hooray," I said, "I am so happy my big girl is back," and I hugged her tight.

Three days later her behavior has still been that of a happy big girl!!! Let's hope it stays that way.