Guaranteed Success in Parenting

When my children were young, I was like a squirrel gathering nuts for the winter, reading as many books as possible, watching videos, participating in Sunday School and small group series, and surrounding myself with wise counsel, all geared to have the proper tools and techniques to raise our children to have the right attitude, behavior, and character. Looking back, I was a bit neurotic about doing everything just so - so what? Perfect. Right?! I don't think so... I lost sight of the fact that time would teach me about my child's bent. Time would enable my husband and I to make a plethora of mistakes which in turn would exaserbate the problem or problems, making mountains out of mole hills. Time would show us that the key to any action plan, (in this case it was to raise healthy kids, not happy kids as the world says) is consistency and follow through. But you know as time would have it, we would get tired, angry, annoyed, impatient, lazy, and so we would switch our strategy, our game plan repeatedly, to find something that would work better. This did not work! What is working and what has worked for millions who have parented before us, is to stay with the basics - the God stuff.

I can not take credit for the following "Top Ten Countdown" - it is Dr. Kevin Leman's, but I will tell you that I wish I had seen it when my children were young. I hope you will glean wisdom from it as we have.



10. Be 100 percent consistent in your behavior.

9. Always follow through on what you say you will do.

8. Respond, don't react.

7. Count to 10 and ask yourself, 'What would my old self do in this situation?

What should the new me do?"

6. Never threaten your kids.

5. Never get angry. (When you do get angry, apologize quickly.)

4. Don't give any warnings. (If you warn your child, you're saying, "You're so stupid,

I have to tell you twice.")

3. Ask yourself, "Whose problem is this?" (Don't own what isn't yours.)

2. Don't think the misbehavior will go away.

1. Keep a happy face on, even when you want to...do something else.



If you can say that you have kept even half of these faithfully, congratulations. I have failed at everyone of these points, sometimes many times in one day. You see, you are not alone - even after 16 years of parenting, I have to still count to 10, asking myself regularly, "whose problem is this anyway?", and work hard at keeping a happy face - even when I want to beep beep beep the beep beep beep... do something else.

God is there to go before you and will meet you there where no one else can - to love that child unconditionally. As you face 2009, face it with confidence, not in yourself or your great strategy, but in a God who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He will provide what you need for your parenting, your marriage, and your life.

God bless. CRF