Speaking your Kids' Love Languages

As a mom I say "I love you," and hug my kids all the time, throughout the day. It is easy now since they are still babies. Is that the only way, or even the best way to show them love as they get older though? Just like adults, kids have unique and individual personalities. For one 4 year old, being hugged and cuddled during a special story time with Dad makes him feel especially loved. For another, having mom blow up balloons for him to play with however he wants, makes him feel particularly loved.

I just finished reading The Five Love Languages of Children, by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell, M.D., and I learned a lot! The premise of this wonderful book is that children need unconditional love from their parents as it is the foundation for healthy self-esteem, security & safety, relational skills and emotional well being for their lives. This book also includes a chapter on disciplining out of love, that was an amazing help to me. The authors focus on the practicalities of how to meet your child's need for love, beginning with how to discover what your child's love language is. Love language is the specific way in which love is best communicated to your child, in short, what makes your child feel loved.

The book details 5 Love Languages for children: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and gifts. The authors give guidance on how to uncover your child's primary love language and then provide insightful, practical tips on how to 'speak' that language of love to your child. Leaving a little note of encouragement in your child's lunchbox, for example, if his love language is words of affirmation. Or carving 30 minutes out of your busy schedule to spend uninterrupted time playing a game or taking a special walk/outing with your child if her love language is quality time.

Even if your children are babies or toddlers now (like mine), this book will help you start the habit of unconditional love now. I highly recommend it for any parent who wants to love their kids more, have a better relationship with them, and make sure their kids know how much they are loved!!!