Monday, August 11, 2008

Topics of Conversation

Like most moms (and I think especially relatively new moms) I love talking about my child. While expecting our baby, my husband and I vowed to not become those parents who are constantly talking about their baby, how much they sleep, how often they eat, how often they go to the bathroom, and all of the new and amazing things that their baby is doing (which of course they only ever do when nobody else is around). Well, like most other moms, I've fallen victim to the curse of: "I-talk-about-my-child-just-a-bit-too-much."

This really hit home for me this past weekend, while my husband, daughter and I were visiting some friends in another state who have a baby girl just a few months younger than ours. I realized that about 99% of the conversation had to do with child-raising. Now, this is not inherently wrong--in this case we were all fine with predominantly talking about our kids. However, it did make me think that the reason I talk about my daughter so much is because she consumes so much of my time. I also realized that almost everyone I spend time with is in a similar life situation, so it is natural to talk about our kids. I adore my baby and love being a mom, but I think it is so important to make sure that I have other topics of conversation to bring up besides her!

This idea first came up a few months ago, when my husband pointed out that I don't pursue any hobbies at this time in my life. I grew up loving dance and art among other things, but both of those passions have fallen to the wayside to make room for taking care of the baby, cleaning, cooking, and all of the other "homemaker" responsibilities. I sort of dismissed his concern at the moment, thinking that I didn't really need to follow those interests right now and didn't have time, but after thought and prayer I realized how important they are to help form my identity as a whole. Since then I have become involved in some ministry projects through church, started working part-time from home (not that I wasn't already working, but this work I'm getting paid for!), and have taken up sewing as a hobby. I'm also planning on registering for a dance class in the fall at a local studio, which has the added benefit of giving me a fun way to exercise (I do not like jogging). Now, I don't get to dedicate large blocks of time to each of these interests, but the fact that I'm pursuing them to some extent is extremely fulfilling. We all love our children, but I think that God does want us to have other passions in life besides Him and our families, as long as they are honoring to Him, of course. And besides being sources of enjoyment and fulfillment, my new interests also provide new topics of conversation!

2 comments:

bethany said...

You have inspired me. I love my husband and my kids and definitely talk about my kids too much sometimes (my husband and I were off on a short outing, without our children and I found myself still talking about them). My goal this week is to find something to get involved in (without my kids) just for me!!

Donna B said...

Caitlin, you hit the bullseye. This is a true thing about life. You, the you God designed in your mother's womb, needs to stay alive and be fed too or it limits your ability to BE a healthy mom to your children, and a woman that's enjoyable to be with to your husband. Being a mom is half what we do for and with our kids, and half what we model for them that life IS. I think a lot of kids grow up thinking life is all about them, because it is.