There is a commercial on the PBS Kids channel that I've seen a lot recently. Have you seen it? It features men and women engaging in "bad" yet common behaviors, such as littering, drinking milk out of the carton, and yelling in rage at another car while driving. The announcer asks something like, "Would you change your actions if you knew you were being videotaped? If you have a child, then you are." And the scenarios zoom out so that you see a young toddler is watching each of the parents behaving inappropriately. The announcer goes on to say that children learn so much from watching their parents and absorb their behavior and habits, whether good or bad. I already knew this, but I've never really had to face it, simply because I've never been watched constantly by a single person as I am by my 18-month old daughter!
My daughter is at an age now where she is very attentive to my actions and responses to situations, and also is capable of remembering my behavior weeks later. This has made me realize how many things I do that I just shouldn't be doing! I have had to censor myself (and I am really not a foul-mouthed person) because sometimes I knew that words of anger were about to come out of my mouth and I did not want my daughter to hear them. I've also had to censor my facial expressions (I am an eye-roller) and the tone of voice I use sometimes. On my ironing day, I usually watch some TV, and having my daughter in the room made me realize that some of the shows I watch are not appropriate and certainly not edifying!
Speaking of the television, a few weeks ago my toddler and I were both sick, so I thought I'd put a movie on and we'd just relax together. Well, I had hard time finding a film that would be appropriate to watch with her. The only one I had was "Finding Nemo." It made me realize that maybe all those R-rated films in my cabinet were not the best movies for my husband and I to be watching because they are filled with bad language, violence, sex, etc. and that's not what we should be filling our heads with!
Psalm 19:14 says, "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." As a culture, we are surrounded with bad influences and the belief that certain inappropriate behaviors are OK. I do not want to raise my daughter that way. My life is on display for her and I want it to be one that glorifies God and sets a good example. Instead of just censoring bad behaviors, I want to use this opportunity to eliminate them. I want to do this so that my daughter will hopefully, one day, be an adult whose life glorifies God.
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Have you seen the other ads, "A Baby Changes Everything"??? Yep, having children puts a mirror up to a lot of things in my life - my attitudes, my tone, my expressions - because I've done them for years and years, they're second nature. And then I see my girls mimic me and it is, um, very enlightening! Thanks for reminding us this - what we put in will come out, and when we have children watching us, it can also be reflected beyond just us!
Just yesterday I heard my 2 year old daughter say to my 10 month old (when he grabbed a book)..."you hold it, but not in mouth....oh NO NO is in mouth, now I take away" and later she told him to 'stop it, stop it right now!" No question where she got those phrases....I have been careful with the actual words I say....but hearing her emulate my tone and inflection made me think. I need to check my attitude and motivation too - not just my words. Since kids mirror that too!
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