Growing Pains

This past week has presented me many opportunities for growth, or perhaps I should say that my daughter has provided many opportunities for growth.... for both of us. Having recently turned 2, she is at that wonderful stage in her life where she desperately wants to do everything on her own and does not want help even though she often needs it. Needless to say, this causes her to become pretty frustrated, pretty fast. Also, due to her unique toddler pronunciation of the English language, it can sometimes be hard to understand what she is saying. The fact that my bright little girl often cannot accomplish what she is trying to accomplish, nor communicate what she is trying to communicate has led to tears on many occasions, and rebellious behavior on several occasions. I must admit that I have found myself empathizing with her rather than just becoming frustrated along side her, as I have felt in the same predicament in my relationship to my Heavenly Father at times.
One particularly tough morning, after my independent little one had already dissolved into tears 4 or 5 times after fighting to put on her own shoes, she completely lost it when I bent down to pick up her shoe and help her. She flung her shoe out of my reach, laid on the floor face down and sobbed. A part of me was thinking, "We are already running late, we need to get out the door - just stop yelling and let me put your shoes on. I have had enough!" However, I was pleasantly surprised to find this thought only occupied a tiny fleeting moment in my mind and my heart was overwhelmingly saying, "I love you, I feel your frustration, I understand you are overwhelmed. I want more than anything to help you and hug you and dry your tears." I laid down on the floor next to her and put my arm over her back. I stroked her head and her back, when she started to quiet a little bit I pulled her into my arms and wrapped her in a hug. "Mommy loves you," I whispered in her ear. "I understand you are upset. I feel sad too because you are sad. But I love you so much that I don't want you to be sad and cry, so I am going to help you with the shoes so you can put them on." She stopped crying and wiped her drippy face on my shirt. I helped her get the right shoe lined up with the right foot so she could put in on and was rewarded with a huge hug and a smile!!
I have learned so much from my frustrated toddler. God has used her to teach me to be more.....more patient, more loving, more forgiving, more prayerful, more creative, more resourceful, more of a godly role model.... in short more of the mother I know I can be. And though I have fallen short many times, becoming 'less' rather than more, I know it is a critical lesson I am learning. There have been growing pains this last week, and will be more in the future, but there has been amazing growth for both me and my daughter. I thank God for His Hand and His continual work in my life and pray that He will always make me more .... more of HIM and less of ME.

~~John 3:30 He must become greater, I must become less. ~~