Regrets

Last year, there was an incident that deeply troubled me. I had learned that a mere moment could have so many effects on things and people around me.

Perhaps it's somewhat universal, but school parking lots around the drop-off/pick-up times can be quite chaotic. This is something that I've become used to over the years now, but last year, I had to face a very upsetting situation.... twice in one day.

I was walking in the parking lot, trying to drop off my pre-schooler at the school hurriedly since we were running late that morning, when a white sedan came speeding down the lot and almost hit me and my child. This scared me and my 4 year old half to death. But the worst part was, she actually had the nerve to pound on her horn like ten times along with some extremely offensive words that I cannot dare to repeat. This upset my son even more where he started to cry, of course. I was so taken back, since I had not expected something like this to happen at a Christian school, I didn't know how to react but to just keep on walking. Now, I understand a mother can go through a whole lot of hurdles and stressful times in the morning, but it was definitely not the way to handle the situation.

Now comes the afternoon time, where I came to pick up my 1st grader. As I look back now, I feel that God was trying to teach me something through this experience. After I had picked up my daughter, I was driving away in the parking lot, and a familiar looking car pulled out and almost hit my car. Guess who that was. It was the same white sedan I had that encounter with that very morning. Quickly, I drove around her car and this seemed to make her quite mad. So after I had pulled out of the parking lot, this same woman sped up from behind me and cut me off in a one lane road (not to mention nearly scratching the side of my car). But I can tell you this time, I wasn't taken back, rather furious. At that moment, the anger I had felt in the morning came rushing in, and I found my way to get back at her.

She got stuck at the light, and I pulled in next to her and I yelled out " Learn how to drive!!!". This was something I could do instead of using the kind of words she said earlier. I can tell you that it felt good and satisfying. But at the same moment, I remembered my daughter sitting right behind me, doing the very thing I had taught her not to do. We as parents know that actions speak so much louder than words, and I had failed to show her how to actually live the lessons taught. But the biggest regret, was that I had disappointed my heavenly Father by trying to justify myself through the temptation. 

The important lesson learned here, is that it's not how much you know the biblical principles or what kind of position you hold in your church that makes who you are, but it's about whether you are living the principles that you know in your mind. It's the action that counts, and it's the action that expresses our faith in Christ.