Last year I had reached an all-time low, the darkest valley I had ever traveled to. I had always struggled with depression, which I believe started way back in my teen years and seemed to continue throughout my life. I hit many valleys, especially in the early days of motherhood. I had not done a very good job of building a support network for myself.
The depression peaked and waned. I eventually tried medications that ultimately did not work well for me as they do for many. Last year my depression took a turn for the worst. I felt that I could not face another day in my life and ended up in the hospital for 10 days which lead to some scary events. Needless to say, it was a rough year especially for my husband as he tried his best to keep things "normal" at home. The children thought I was away at a retreat, not hospitalized. We did not even tell the church, I was embarrassed.
Over the months, through therapy and lots of praying friends (girls, you know who you are!), God has performed a miracle in my life! I am healed, and He is beginning to do amazing things in my heart, mind and spirit. I have a part-time career now, which I struggled to have for many years unsuccessfully. But most of all, I have a Savior, the Holy Spirit and a Heavenly Father who walks with me everyday.
I start my day early in the morning on my face, acknowledging that I am nothing, nor can I do anything apart from Him. I thank Him for His love, mercy and grace. Then, great things happen! It's not that my life is always easy now, but He is teaching me to ride the waves and stay on my feet! Before, I always fell hard when the waves crashed, and went running back to the shore.
So, no matter what you are going through, remember He is faithful (even if you can't feel Him at the moment.)
Sue
1 comment:
Thank you so much for sharing this intimate story. I really appreciate your honesty. God is so amazing and good.
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